Forgiveness in Islam

This is truly a beautiful hadith. Very touching. Many non Muslims think our religion is too hard and that we view Allah as only to be feared. Wheras, in reality Islam combines an equal amount of Love, Fear, and Hope. We are only humans so inevitably we will make mistakes and sin from time to time. Often, we tend to despair when we commit a sin. But Alhamdullilah, our forgiveness is only a prayer away. We don’t need any intercessors. We don’t have to pray to anyone else. We have a direct link. Mash’Allah what a beautiful religion…….a beautiful Way of Life!

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say:

Allah the Almighty has said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.

What makes a Beautiful Heart?

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect.

There was not a mark or a flaw in it.

Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.

The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart. Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly ... but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in ... but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges.

In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people starred ... how could he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine ... mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes!" said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking ... but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them ... and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart ... but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away ... and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges ... giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too ... and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting."

"So now do you see what true beauty is?", said the old man.

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.

It fits but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

Bulleh Ki Jaana With English Translation

How to let go of guilt and learn to forgive

How to let go of guilt and learn to forgive

From the Qur'an
{It is part of the Mercy of Allah that you deal gently
with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have
gone away from you: so pass over (their faults), and
ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in the
affairs (of the moment). Then, when you have taken a decision, place
your trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who place their trust
(in Him).} 3:159

[Lessons from this verse] It is not the snake bite that kills,
it's the venom that flows through the blood. The antidote is
forgiving people. Don't let anger rent space in your mind and
heart. Forgive and pass over people's faults.

"Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against
others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly."

"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the
unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when
everything seems hopeless."

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was
you."

"Do everything. Love as much as you can. it may hurt but it helps us grow.
Give all you have...you may be poor but you will be content. Always
forgive....your heart can not afford not to. Teach what you know and learn
what you don't. Stay open to all"

"Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give."

"Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than
believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive:
forget. Do more than dream: work."

A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game. The teacher
told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few
potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates,
so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will
depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the
people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5
potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes
in the plastic bag wherever they go for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the
unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5
potatoes also had to carry heavier bags.

After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you
for 1 week?" The children let out their frustrations and started complaining
of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and
smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.

The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred
for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your
heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate
the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it
like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

Moral:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry
sins for a life time. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take! Forget
& Forgive!!!

WE HAVE ALL DONE THINGS THAT WE ARE NOT PROUD OF. Perhaps we were not there
for a friend when they needed us, or we may have been responsible for
unhappiness in our family. These sorts of past actions can leave us feeling
ashamed and guilty, and we can end up carrying our guilt for years.

Guilt is probably one of the most debilitating and negative emotions there
is - one that can, and often does, destroy a person's life. But if we want
to live happy lives, we need to deal with the consequences of our past
actions and move on, rather than allowing our lives to be wracked with
guilt.

Feeling guilty should not be confused with taking responsibility for our
past. Responsibility means "the ability to respond", and therefore taking
responsibility means that we actively address the consequences of our
actions in whatever way we can, in particular by changing our behavior
patterns. Taking responsibility also includes moving on by making peace with
the past.

Unlike taking responsibility, which is redeeming and positive, guilt has
absolutely no value. Guilt does not encourage us to change in positive ways
but debilitates us, leaving us unable to take the action we need to bring
about change.

Breaking out of the guilt cycle
As a behavior pattern, guilt often becomes a self-perpetuating cycle: we do
something, we feel guilty about it, we punish ourselves and, because we feel
bad, we end up repeating our behavior at the next available opportunity.

This debilitating cycle continues largely because we do not take full
responsibility for our actions or for changing our behavior. So how do we
start the process of taking responsibility? By considering, with complete
honesty, the part we play in any situation and by accepting our role in
creating the events.

The purpose of this self-examination is to evaluate truthfully whatever
occurred so that we can learn how we contributed. Through learning and
honest self-assessment, we change our thinking and behavior. We can also
forgive ourselves and move on with experience and wisdom.

Real forgiveness
In this process, forgiveness is vital. However, forgiveness is not what we
generally believe it to be.

Real forgiveness has nothing to do with feeling of "sorry or apologizing" -
neither of which actually changes anything. True forgiveness is contained in
its literal meaning. The word "forgive" is very old, and the prefix "for"
means literally "to reject." So the word as a whole means "to reject the
giving".

We need "to reject the giving" because, if we think we have wronged someone,
we use our sense of guilt to "give" to that person. By giving, we hope to
make it better, and to exonerate ourselves from our actions. Conversely, if
we feel that someone has wronged us, we will continue to demand payment for
that offense, and thus want the other person to "give" to us.

But giving from a sense of guilt can never lead us to forgiveness. Neither
can forgiveness be bestowed by another; it has to be brought about by
ourselves. In the end, unless we can reject all this giving and truly
forgive ourselves, we can never really move on and be free of the past.

How does forgiveness work in practice? Say that you have had a history of
being abusive towards others, but have started to take responsibility for
your past by changing your behavior. The reality is that you can still have
unresolved feelings about what you have done. The process of forgiveness
enables you to resolve these unresolved feelings so that you can move on.

It is important to remember that feeling bad about the past never really
allows us to move on. What's more, if we indulge in feeling bad, this
implies that we view our past as meaningless and of no value. What a waste!
For, if we have caused harm, surely we should try to learn from our actions
rather than living with a heap of regrets?

Forgiving ourselves involves finding value in our experiences. Instead of
just writing off an experience as a painful episode, and trying to forget
it, we should look for the value in that experience and try to take out of
the experience whatever we can learn.

Toltecs look upon life as a journey of learning, and say that all true
learning or knowledge is experiential. Because we are stubborn and tend to
avoid change, much of our learning does come about through painful
experiences. However, if we wish to grow and to use our experiences as a
learning curve, it is vital that we focus on what we have learned, rather
than the pain.

By searching for learning and value from our past, we ensure that there is
no more need to give or demand payment - we can, indeed, "reject the giving"
and so forgive.

To take meaning and value out of any situation, simply ask, "What has this
taught me? What lessons can I learn: about myself, about others and about my
life? How can I use this new knowledge to change my thinking and behavior
and help others avoid the same trap?"

In this light our past, instead of being meaningless and shameful, has a
positive and life-enhancing value. By learning to handle our past, and by
taking the steps to forgive ourselves in the true sense of the word, we can
let go of the debilitating consequences of guilt, and finally move on.

"Say: 'O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not
of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving,
Most Merciful." Surah Al-Zumar, chapter 39 verse 53-55